Or too much.
I'm not sure.
See, this weekend was amazing - far exceeding my expectations, and my expectations were high. But, because of the type of karma I have, it was only to be expected that my first day back to work today would be, well, Bad. Really, really bad. Call Mike crying on the phone bad. Telling him that maybe I just can't do this f*cking job bad.
Okay - it's probably not really that bad, but it really feels that bad tonight, and tomorrow I'll probably feel like I can do this job again, but right now I think maybe there are many other jobs I would be better at. Like maybe I could work at a flower shop, or I could sell newspapers under the Neponset Street Bridge, or maybe I could be a fortune teller or maybe I could just work at a Taco Bell and gain 450 lbs.
I did go to the gym tonight instead of coming directly home and having a very tall vodka tonic which I consider a major victory. I ended up having a great workout (having Mike there helps A Lot) and now I've eaten a healthy, if hurried, dinner, and am sitting here writing this post. I'm not crying, which I also consider a victory, so I guess I'll just take what I can and remind myself that no matter how bad today was, it's bound to be over in just a few hours.
But this weekend - this weekend was terrific, and again, it totally exceeded my high expectations. Kellee picked me up, we got Mrs. Bookish, and away we headed up into Portland. We stopped in Portsmouth for lunch and a quick poke through The Yarn Basket, and then we headed north into Maine. When we arrived at the hotel, I saw one of the most fabulous sights of my not so young life - hallways full of spinners and knitters. Knitters and spinners in every nook and cranny. And among many of these amazing spinners and knitters were people I already knew and people I had the opportunity to get to know even better by the weekend's end.
Here's the thing though - it was in no way a "blogger" event, even though the very charming Stephanie Pearl-McPhee was in attendance. I never, not once, referred to someone by their blog name, and I never, not once, introduced myself by my blog name.
Do you have any idea how cool that was?
As surprising as this may be to you, I can actually be pretty shy, and I become rather introverted in situations where I know that I won't know anyone. Rhinebeck, no matter how much fun it was, scared the shit out of me because there was so much attention on the blogger part of the event and because I knew I'd be meeting onemajillion new people. Please folks, I am in NO WAY saying there was anything at all unfabulous about meeting the eleventymillion bloggers that attended Rhinebeck, I'm just saying that it made me ridiculously uncomfortable. I feel like a total ass saying "Oh yeah, my blog is Concateknit" because, really, who cares? I love my blog, I love that you take the time to comment, I love the dialog that I've been able to enter into with you, and I love beyond belief the friends I've made because of this little blog, but take me into the real world and I become a little, well, shy (okay - sometimes it's a very loud and talkative kind of shy, but I babble like an idiot when I am feeling shy, so there).
Anyway, the major difference between this event and others I've attended is that this was really about community. There were people I had met before that I was able to sit in comfortable silence with and there were people that I've known I would connect with just given the chance. There was a lot of laughter, a lot of fun, a lot of drinking (ahem, shots in the bar at 5:30pm really did seem like a fabulous idea at the time), some dancing, and some shenanigans that were a) not caused by me, and b) not caused by our crowd, which leads to c) some funny ass shenanigans.
The bottom line is that I have 2.5 days worth of memories that I just know I will always cherish. It doesn't matter what I bought (um, enough sock yarn for 7 pairs), or which bloggers were there - it only mattered that I spent the weekend in the company of many dozens of amazing and talented women and that well, they didn't kick me out. ;) It was a lovely weekend and I am a better person for having these people in my life.