I've Got Nothing

Or too much.

I'm not sure.

See, this weekend was amazing - far exceeding my expectations, and my expectations were high. But, because of the type of karma I have, it was only to be expected that my first day back to work today would be, well, Bad. Really, really bad. Call Mike crying on the phone bad. Telling him that maybe I just can't do this f*cking job bad.

Okay - it's probably not really that bad, but it really feels that bad tonight, and tomorrow I'll probably feel like I can do this job again, but right now I think maybe there are many other jobs I would be better at. Like maybe I could work at a flower shop, or I could sell newspapers under the Neponset Street Bridge, or maybe I could be a fortune teller or maybe I could just work at a Taco Bell and gain 450 lbs.

Sigh...

I did go to the gym tonight instead of coming directly home and having a very tall vodka tonic which I consider a major victory. I ended up having a great workout (having Mike there helps A Lot) and now I've eaten a healthy, if hurried, dinner, and am sitting here writing this post. I'm not crying, which I also consider a victory, so I guess I'll just take what I can and remind myself that no matter how bad today was, it's bound to be over in just a few hours.

But this weekend - this weekend was terrific, and again, it totally exceeded my high expectations. Kellee picked me up, we got Mrs. Bookish, and away we headed up into Portland. We stopped in Portsmouth for lunch and a quick poke through The Yarn Basket, and then we headed north into Maine. When we arrived at the hotel, I saw one of the most fabulous sights of my not so young life - hallways full of spinners and knitters. Knitters and spinners in every nook and cranny. And among many of these amazing spinners and knitters were people I already knew and people I had the opportunity to get to know even better by the weekend's end.

Here's the thing though - it was in no way a "blogger" event, even though the very charming Stephanie Pearl-McPhee was in attendance. I never, not once, referred to someone by their blog name, and I never, not once, introduced myself by my blog name.

Do you have any idea how cool that was?

As surprising as this may be to you, I can actually be pretty shy, and I become rather introverted in situations where I know that I won't know anyone. Rhinebeck, no matter how much fun it was, scared the shit out of me because there was so much attention on the blogger part of the event and because I knew I'd be meeting onemajillion new people. Please folks, I am in NO WAY saying there was anything at all unfabulous about meeting the eleventymillion bloggers that attended Rhinebeck, I'm just saying that it made me ridiculously uncomfortable. I feel like a total ass saying "Oh yeah, my blog is Concateknit" because, really, who cares? I love my blog, I love that you take the time to comment, I love the dialog that I've been able to enter into with you, and I love beyond belief the friends I've made because of this little blog, but take me into the real world and I become a little, well, shy (okay - sometimes it's a very loud and talkative kind of shy, but I babble like an idiot when I am feeling shy, so there).

Anyway, the major difference between this event and others I've attended is that this was really about community. There were people I had met before that I was able to sit in comfortable silence with and there were people that I've known I would connect with just given the chance. There was a lot of laughter, a lot of fun, a lot of drinking (ahem, shots in the bar at 5:30pm really did seem like a fabulous idea at the time), some dancing, and some shenanigans that were a) not caused by me, and b) not caused by our crowd, which leads to c) some funny ass shenanigans.

The bottom line is that I have 2.5 days worth of memories that I just know I will always cherish. It doesn't matter what I bought (um, enough sock yarn for 7 pairs), or which bloggers were there - it only mattered that I spent the weekend in the company of many dozens of amazing and talented women and that well, they didn't kick me out. ;) It was a lovely weekend and I am a better person for having these people in my life.

Comments

[Cara]

I hope I get to see you THIS weekend (we're coming up Friday) - and always remember I was your first! (Or was I?) L, C

[Cara]

Oh and I'm glad you had such an amazing time - I'm just sad I wasn't there. :)

[Chris]

From what I've been reading, it was a pretty amazing weekend from everyone's perspective!

Here's hoping for a better day at work tomorrow.

[Carole]

Sorry today was such a bad day. Maybe it's just let down from the fabulous weekend. And it was, wasn't it?

[Kate]

Sorry for the shitty day!
You summed up the weekend perfectly and you know I never realized that I didn't introduce myself as "fiber fever kate". Cause it's not about that, it's about just relaxing with fabulous people. I still hate that I didn't stay over... hello... I missed the dancing and the drunken tiara winner (do I know who that was??) I love that you were there and that I got to spend so much time with you, even if it included shots at the bar at 5:30. I'm coming to Boston soon... promise. I mean heck there is a train that's cheap, gets me there in okay time and I can knit the whole way.

Miss you all already!!

[mamacate]

Hey, let me know if you set up that newspaper business under the bridge. Because I had the kind of day where I was thinking something like that might not suck any worse either. Nowhere near as bad as yours, but definitely thinking about options.

It was wonderful. It's a little hard for me to believe that we don't have another fiber slumber party until next year.

[freecia]

It sounds like the 'net fulfilled an implicit promise - let real people communicate.

Yay to the sock yarn! Anything superdelish?

[Laurie]

I'm sorry your day sucked. That sounds like a major suck, rather than a temporary suck. The day job would have had some trouble, regardless, held up in comparison, yeah. It was so much fun spinning with you, doing up margaritas, and just being together.

[amandamonkey]

Hugs about the work situation...

I'm really happy for you that you took out your frustration on gym trainers instead of on your liver (it's hard being a grownup, isn't it?).

[Bookish Wendy]

Clearly you should have done what I did - stay home sickers.

Call me if you need anything, I'm here today. And you're post is my fav of all - you totally "got" it...as usual!

xo

[christine]

Every time I read a post about the SPA weekend, I get so jealous! I want to go next year, and that's highly unlikely.....
I'm sorry your job sucks.......chin up!

[Martha]

I think Wendy had the right idea, staying home sick. I wish I'd thought of it! After this past weekend, all I want to do is spin now.

[claudia]

Hey, I hope today is better.

[Kathy]

Hope that your week has gotten better. You know the "back to real life" deal -- well, isn't the fun weekend "real life" rather than the crappy day at work! And great job with the weight loss plan -- 1.0 lb. is fine -- it's a loss and long term weight loss is a slow and steady thing.

[Beth S.]

Whaddya mean, you've got nothing? You've got the memory of a fantastic weekend. And some new sock yarn. :-) That'll help you with the work stress at least a little bit, right?

I love Portsmouth--I was in the Yarn basket myself, what, maybe three weeks ago? Never been to friendly Toast, but I'll take your recommendation gladly.

[maryse]

ok, all of these SPA posts are just mean now. rubbing my face in it. :P you even went to lunch in portsmouth without me!

i'm sorry work sucks. bad work! i fart in it's direction.

i think it's cool that you were "elisa" and not "concateknit" i feel goofy referring to myself by my blog name. hate that. that's why i shun the name tags.

[Jackie]

I'm so sorry that yesterday sucked so bad for you :( but I'm glad you mustered up the energy to post, because you wrote something true and real and perfect.

[Gracie]

I'm so jealous that you got to go and so glad that you had a fabulous time!! I hope that today was a better day at work.

[Kim]

I may just have to learn to knit. It sounds like you had such a great time! Sorry work isn't as great. Hugs to you!

[Juno]

No one could ever dream of kicking you out, silly girl. You're a lovely person.

And you totally captured the niceness of hanging out with wool and people and not having to think of it as a blog thing. One of the reasons I never got my camera out.

And thank you for the water - my dehydrated cells were extremely grateful.