National Elisa Thinks You Are Not A Unique Little Snowflake Day

With a special, "yes, YOU" to the assholes who live upstairs from me.

It's been a Very Rough Week at Chez Concateknit, in a Don't Get So Cocky About How Good Your Life Is kind of karmic ass-kicking kind of way.

Oh - I should back up a bit.

I hate my upstairs neighbors. From the day they moved in they've been terrible. Inconsiderate, hostile, rude, gross, loud, obnoxious, and well, they've just been assholes (and not assholes in the endearing way I usually mean it). Why do I think they're assholes? Well, let me give you a few examples:

• They like to argue with each other, and loudly. He calls her f*cking psycho, she cries hysterically and screams, and then one or both of them goes slamming out of the house and screeches away in their car.
• They pay no attention to the fact that they have downstairs neighbors. Music, voices, shoes, whatever - they are as loud as they please, all the time.
• They smoke. In the common hallways. And apparently they like to toss their cigarette butts onto the front lawn (we learned this from our landlords who happen to live on the first floor of our triple decker).
• They thought nothing of using our front balcony to hoist furniture up to their balcony. They just opened a window and climbed out onto the balcony and never once did they ask us if we minded.
• They left garbage in our common foyer, blocking our storage space and never asked if we minded, or if they were inconveniencing us.

But the straw that broke the camel's back was when they parked in the middle of a spot that they had not cleared out (do you think they FORGOT that they didn't clear that space out?) and then the boy asshole literally flipped out when Mike called him out about it. I mean, boy asshole flipped out and screamed at Mike.

Thankfully, we've found out that they are moving out (the banging and clanging and dragging body noises are happening upstairs from me as I type) and you know what the best bit of it is? Boy asshole told Mike that it was our fault that they are moving out. Can you even f*cking believe that? Our Fault. I'm flabbergasted.

Mike and I call people with this large a sense of entitlement the "Unique Little Snowflake" generation. Have you noticed that there is a huge group of people who seem to believe that the world revolves around them, and that anyone who would call them out on their shit or expect them to behave, gasp, respectfully, to other people is somehow wrong?

So, here's what I think, in bullets, because I Am Tired (again, this is directed to the Assholes Who Live Upstairs and Anyone Else Who Thinks The World is Beholden to Them):

• As hard as this is to believe, I don't care what you think
• You are not that smart
• You are not that attractive (bleach blond hair on boy asshole? um, yeah - not so much)
• If insulting my appearance is the best you can do, I'm probably not going to be really devastated (see bullets 2 & 3 above)
• There are more people in the world than just you
• What you want is not the most important thing in the world to me
• You are not entitled to do or say whatever you want
• You ARE accountable for your behavior, and if it is your CHOICE to be an asshole, how about you not try and play the MARTYR too, okay?
• Martyr's are not sexy, appealing, or attractive
• Personal responsibility IS attractive
• If you are married to boy asshole and never, ever, not once, do a single thing to diffuse boy asshole's behavior then that makes you girl asshole. And equally culpable for all things assholish that happen
• If you tell me that it's my fault that you are moving out? Don't be so f*cking surprised that I consider that a good thing (again, see bullet 2 above).

With any luck, a decent night's sleep will return your Concateknit to her usual self.

Maybe.

It's been a long week.

Comments

[Norma]

Hey. I know some people like that. But they don't live upstairs from me. Lucky for you, they're leaving. Here's hoping their replacements are not equally assholey.

[--Deb]

I bet you wish you knew HOW "you" had gotten them to move out, huh? That kind of information could come in handy.

People like this--do you suppose it started in Kindergarten, when EVERYbody got a gold star, no matter what, because everybody is "special?" It's not about earning privileges any more. It's all about entitlement. (I mean, gee, didn't you KNOW that?)

[Chris]

Fabulous that they're moving!

The people who used to live downstairs were like that... You'd ask them to pick up a cigarette butt that you watched them throw on the sidewalk and they'd do it in a very exagerated way - and then say something ominous and nasty, about not appreciating being told what to do.

Plus I think poor Chaos spent his kittenhood totally stoned from the pot smoke that drifted up through the floor...

[maryse]

i had roommates like that. by the way -- the bleach blond hair on the boy asshole -- visual..not pretty ... think about it.

i also love when assholes can only come up with playing either the ugly or fat card. genius really.

[heather]

eck. Good Riddance.

[Jackie]

WhooHOO! I think them leaving calls for celebration - how about a girls weekend up in Maine?? (Oh wait... ;)

Keeping my fingers crossed that the next ones are better. :)

[christine]

We almost had a collision with "unique little snowflake" driving a new BMW 5 series automobile, who decided to turn left from the middle lane, without using a signal or a hand gesture, while talking on his f...king cell phone. And after we stopped to avoid hitting him, and honked, he gave Bob the finger.........You have my sympathy. Throw an egg at them as they drive the U-Haul away.......a rotten egg.
May we borrow your phrase? Love it: "Unique little snowflake"........there are a few of these in Chicago..........

[Elspeth]

How horrible! Our neighbors are inconsiderate, but nowhere near that bad. I'm so happy they're moving out!

[Kathy]

You should have a party and celebrate the big move. Call it a Ding Dong the Witch is Dead and Gone party... okay. Maybe that's harsh. (Or not.)

I once lived upstairs in an old (ancient) building that creaked if you sneezed. The woman below me used to complain that she could hear my cat walk. Not run, not play - WALK. She threatened to take her shotgun and aim for the sound of walking through the ceiling. (I swear, I am really not a loud human being. And I tiptoed around that place, believe me.) Me and the cat went to a friend's for a week while I filed a police report and informed the landlord. She was gone in a week, and I stomped all over the floor just 'cause I could.

[Gracie]

Maybe with your next neighbors you should ask to screen them before they move in. I don't understand why it is Mike's fault, crazy crazy people.

At least they will be leaving your life sometime in the near future. I know you def want them at the wedding!

[Martha]

Oh come on, I am so a unique little snowflake! ;)

[amandamonkey]

Congrats!

When I encounter people like that, my first thought is that it's generational. For a while, I thought it was geographical, maybe socio-economic? Nonetheless, I *still* don't know where this f*cking entitlement comes from.

Meh. My new apartment building has a couple of them, too.

[melanie]

They're moving out, YAY!!! I'd just like to add that it is one of my personal parental goals to NOT raise unique little snowflakes.

[Beth S.]

Ah! How fondly I remember our (illegal?) neighbors in Somerville, who would have parties on their balcony at least three days a week in good weather, filling the air with loud salsa music and pot smoke well into the night. And how often their friends would blithely and unapologetically part in our designated, numbered and labeled parking spot in order to attend those parties! Yes, those were the days.

Or not.

[Carrie K]

Unique little snowflake? That's perfect!

You should be very proud of yourself that you drove them out. How, I wonder. By demonstrating consideration for others? Recognizing that the world does not belong solely to you? Being polite? That must have killed. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

[Amber]

Now I need to go watch fight club. "You are not a unique little snowflake" Glad they are getting out of your life, and I hope the new neighbors are better. I'm always way too aware of downstairs neighbors, my floors now are concrete! Yay!

[Kellee]

Oh yeah, I'd totally move too --'cuz we all know how absolutely MISERABLE it must be to have to listen to you and Mike roasting coffee hour upon hour for days on end.

Jerks

[freecia]

Wow, Unique Little Snowflake sounds so much more polite than the names I usually associate with these people. It is a shame how so many people are entirely centered in the self and self-centered. The first you're just oblivious and the second, you're doing it and liking it.
Heck, I bet if you could figure out what exactly he blames you for, you'd keep that information tucked away and send it to their next set of neighbors.

[Kim]

These comments are great! I'm so glad they are moving soon! When did parents stop teaching there children that they, and no one else, were responsible for their own actions? It just boggles my mind, really (shaking head).

[carolyn]

sounds like you got my old upstairs neighbors in roslindale. man, did they love fighting, having sex, clomping around as loudly as possible and vacuuming in the middle of the night. and the parking space? in boston? NOT COOL. good for mike for calling him on it!