National Elisa Thinks Muffin Tops Aren't Tasty Day

Oh boy, folks. What a couple of days. Amazing highs, really low lows, and all the shit that comes in between. You know what helped me get through it all? You did. Your comments and love and support and your "chin ups" really did the trick, and well, thank you very much.

See, I'm a lucky, lucky girl because I have friends.

Friends who will support me when I'm feeling blue, laugh with me when I'm happy, and just generally help me to keep it real.

Like, the friends I have (and of course, I count you among them) would tell me if I was walking around with a muffin top.

What's a muffin top, you ask? Let me tell you - you get a muffin top by not being honest with yourself about what size pants you should probably be wearing, thereby squeezing your stuff up and over the hem of your pants - all the way around.

You know you've seen your share of muffin tops.

They are *everywhere* these days and I'm not sure when it happened that being able to get a pair of pants to cover your ass meant that they fit you.

Let me tell you, if you have to lay on your bed and brace your leg against the wall to get your pants buttoned, probably they don't fit.

The blessing and curse of low rise pants (a notorious breeding ground for muffin tops) is that you don't have to worry so much about getting your stomach into them. Blessing - if you are built like me and have a big old butt but a relatively small waist, then a low rise pair of pants will usually eliminate that big old gap I get because my butt makes the back of the pants stick out. Curse - if you are sporting the pudge, the low rise pants seem to accentuate the pudge (for example - I really have had, through most of my life, a flat stomach...until recently. One day I put on my low rise pants, looked down, and squeaked in displeasure at the sight of the pudge hanging over the front of my pants. It was shocking - it was depressing - it was, well, undeniably pudge).

The moral? Be wary of low rise pants and their sometimes hidden dangers.

But we were talking about muffin tops - they're cropping up everywhere, and let me just tell you, I find it a little disturbing. See, here's the thing - I don't want everyone to be skinny (lord knows I'm not), but I do believe that healthy is more attractive than er, pudgy, when it comes to bare skin. Mostly, my upset comes when I look at someone who is by no means fat and yet smooshes themselves into clothes at least a size too small.

Again, I say, just because you CAN get the outfit on does NOT mean that it fits, m'kay?

Honestly, I think girl tummies are incredibly cute, they don't have to be flat, they don't have to be defined or toned, or anything like that - I just think muffin tops are not cute. Muffin tops make me want to grab the muffin maker by the hand and take them to the nearest mall for a little retail therapy.

Oh, and maybe I should mention that boys seem to have been sporting these muffin tops for decades and really - those muffins aren't tasty, either.

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SPA indulgence...

I mentioned that I bought enough yarn to knit 7 pairs of socks at SPA. Let me share the happiness with you. From left to right we have two skeins of Wool in the Woods Cherub sock yarn in Just for Fun, one skein of Noro Silk Garden (how'd that get in there?), Color 213, one skein of Spunky Eclectic's Merino Sock yarn in Autumn Girls, two skeins of Friends Blendz sock yarn in some amazingly yummy color, one skein of Furryyarn's Maine Bear Sox1 in Harvest, one skein of Cherry Tree Hill supersock in a potluck blue colorway, and two skeins of Gems Pearl in Red 80.1112-6 (very, very exciting name, hmm?).

But wait - didn't I say I got enough yarn to make 7 pairs of socks? Why, I wonder what happened to that other skein? Oh, that's right. I finished that pair of socks already (please to excuse the very white legs - it's the flash, I swear). The socks I started on Saturday (with only a small detour needed on Sunday to rip the "progress" I made at the bar Saturday night) and finished on Tuesday are Toasty Toes, which are a wool/angora blend, and let me tell you, they are AMAZING. I love them.

Shut up about my Olympic knitting. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Comments

[Cathi]

I am a muffin hater as well- however, I do have to gripe that it's not necessarily that pants don't fit, it's more the way they are cut. I don't have to jump up and down or lay on my bed or any of that to get my jeans on, but because they hit me at mid-hip, where a lot of women carry meat, regardless of weight, it creates a little fat bubble. Ok, this is turning gross. But honestly, I see a lot of thin women with muffin tops, and I think it's more due to the cut of every pant out there than women not being able to find pants for their body type.

Not that I'm bitter about low rise or anything...

[Laurie]

Where did you get the Toasty toes?? Wonderful color, and I can feel the fuzz through the screen.

Muffin tops. Great name. Have you SEEN some of the people on sitcoms these days? The popular culture is reflecting the weight issues of America, and not backing down. I don't think this is a good thing. It just means that the GNP for healthcare will continue to rise (which nobody but economists cares about). But what that REALLY means is that the continuous rise in American longevity is about to take a big dip. Henny Penny? Yes. But it's true.

[Kristen]

a completed pair in four days? Wow.

I think I'm guilty of the muffin top phenomia, but I'll blame that on my everchanging sizes. If it fits in the thigh it'll be too big at the waist, and vice versa. Sitting for long periods = not good, and I just try and keep on top of it with longer shirts...but it doesn't always work.

(silly me keeps thinking that I'll loose the 15lbs that have stuck with me during med school and I should hold off shopping til I drop a size or two.)

[Kellee]

My god. Socks! Already! See now why we're not so concerened about your 7 pairs of socks worth of yarn? I mean, really, at this rate, you're totally going to run out of sock yarn before Maryland! The horror!

[Chris]

Thanks for giving me the term for a disturbing phenomenon.

Pretty pretty sock yarn. Great socks!

Olympic Knitting???

[melanie]

While I freely admit that I have a total girl-belly fetish and will touch many a belly if given the chance, I completely agree that one should wear clothes that fit. Muffin tops, not so good.

[Martha]

I was at the fair with friends last summer and all the teenage girls had "muffin tops." It made us all want to pull them aside and tell them, just because it's fashionable doesn't mean it's flattering. I followed fashions like a sheep--as does any young woman--for years and it took me a long time to learn that lesson. I hate to see others go through it, but I guess it's part of learning your own style.

[christine]

I believe I was a "muffin top" for a few weeks last summer, after I ate my way through Montana, Wyoming and Idaho......I had to buy a new pair of pants at the end of the trip. It was ugly. 15 pounds off, and now I can wear all jeans again. "Muffin top" never again........retail therapy! Love it!

[Kate]

You should see some of the outfits the girls wear to sporting events on campus here. It's re-dic-ulous! Hello... it's an all boys school you really don't need to get all dolled up (muffin top and all) to impress the guys here , they'll take anything that is female and breathing. So sad! Poor girls sometimes I just want to shake 'em and tell them to put some clothes on. Okay, I'm kidding, most of the time I laugh and make fun of them but I already know I'm going to hell.

Seriously, you are done with the socks? That was so quick!

[Gina]

"They are *everywhere* these days and I'm not sure when it happened that being able to get a pair of pants to cover your ass meant that they fit you."

*snort* I hear you, sister. I used to work retail -- a cosmetics counter across from Juniors section -- and I saw so much teenaged muffin top and ass crack that I nearly gouged out my own eyes.

[freecia]

Right on. Can I add in about the bad frosting on top that doesn't cover the edge of the muffin top? Yeah, you know, the people whose shirts are cut way too short and tight, love handles highlighted all akimbo. They can do the "I'm a little teapot" without moving their arms? Honey, break out the frosting and cover the edge of that muffin. Cover more muffin if your muffin bottom tends to slip down.

If you're going to look like a muffin, it'd be better to take a bit further and be the tasty cupcake.

My contribution to Elisa Thinks and flogic for today- the vain women who go outdoors in next to nothing when it is cold enough to make the ladies poke-out, you deserve to have your pokey bits freeze off. If you had a brain which could get frostbite, it should. To partially misquote the nice Brenda Dayne, "put on a sweater."

Yay! Fast socks! More yarn! Less Muffin-tops!

[Beth S.]

You finished a pair of socks in less than a week? Wow! That's awesome!

And I can't WAIT for low-rise pants to be over. ;-)

[Lauren]

That's amazing that you finished those already!

[Kim]

Oh! Remind me to send you some pics of the finer muffin tops in and around The Raymond General Store. It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I was actually thinking of doing a post on this very subject on my blog...

[Carole]

You're right about the muffin tops. That's why I wear shirts that come down to my knees. Hee.
I can not believe you finished those socks already! Speedy little devil, ain't ya.

[maryse]

is the muffin top worse than the exposed thong?

if you push the muffin top up high enough, you get bigger boobs.

[Erin]

Ha! You are too funny and I'm with you on the whole muffin top thing. I definitely see my share of those around. I just have to shake my head and think "it's their body, their clothes, I guess they can choose whether they fit the body to the clothes or the clothes to the body."