Concateknit

Note to Self

Dear Elisa,

As much as I agree with you that it is unreasonable for Target to have the bathing suits already on display on January 6th, the fact remains that you DO live in California where in just a few weeks it will be warm enough to go outside without a coat on. And sooner than that, you'll start your crazy work travel season, which will take you to places where it will be warm enough for bathing suits and swimming pools and beverages with umbrellas in them. These things together mean that, as much as I understand why your brain simply said NO at the sight of the bikinis on display last night, the truth is that the NO had more to do with how snuggly your jeans were fitting than any kind of real objection to the idea of bikinis or swimming pools or cocktails with umbrellas in them.

So we must deal with the snug jeans. The cold, hard fact is that it's time to step away from the chocolate covered pretzels and manybeers and allthebread, and get back to a more sensible way of living, eating, exercising and being. It's time for drinking lots more water, having a healthy and tasty smoothie for breakfast, and saying no to Taco Bell for dinner just because it's easy.

Yes, work is stressful and anxious-making and sometimes even tear-inducing, but Elisa - it's almost always like that, and drive- through for dinner won't change tear-inducing work. And yes, work will also be full of the travel and full of the wierd conference lunches, and taking people for dinner, and being all super social and stuff, but Elisa - that's also not unusual, and most of those hotels you go to have nice gyms and even lovely running paths. You have to stop making excuses for why you can't get on the elliptical, go to the hotel gym, blah blah blah, and just deal with the fact that you are 37 years old and you get no more free passes when it comes to eating like crap and not exercising. You eat like crap = you feel like crap. You eat well = you feel well. It's so totally NOT rocket science, and yet you resist making the right choices sometimes with a stubborness that can only be fueled by white chocolate peppermint bark. Or egg nog. Whatever.

Anyway, Elisa, I'm writing this to you to say, sweetheart - suck it up. Make the time to exercise for 45 minutes a day, menu plan and cook so that you can easily make smart choices, and just keep in mind that you do not want to be the one wearing jeans in the shade while everyone else is in the pool.

Love,

E

National Elisa Thinks Conference Travel is Not as Fun as You Think

Here are some truths about conference travel:

1. You are often teased with the locations for your conference travel. Last year I went to a conference that was advertised as being in Washington, DC, and I love Washington DC. Unfortunately, the conference was actually being held National Harbor, about 10 miles outside of Washington, DC, which means that I only ever got to wave at DC on my way to and from the airport.
2. When you aren't teased with the location for your conference, you often don't really get time to enjoy the city you're in. The first time I went to Las Vegas since I was in my early 20s, I was staying at the conference hotel - Caesar's Palace - and I didn't actually leave the hotel for over two days.
3. You may be in a great location, and you may actually get time to enjoy the city, but you have to remember you're travelling with people from work, so you will a) likely have to spend time with your work people and b) do things, like go to dueling piano bars, with these work people because NOT going to the dueling piano bars will get you accused of not being a team player and maybe when you said "But I don't want to go to a dueling piano bar" the response you received was "That was maybe the whiniest voice I've ever heard you use" and so then you had to go to the dueling piano bar in order to prove that you a) were a team player and b) were not whiny.
4. You may be in a great location, you may get time to enjoy that location, and maybe you really actually like the people you're traveling with and no one, not ever, not once suggests that you go to a dueling piano bar because they all know that you have Feelings about such things, and they would prefer that you be happy and not whiny. Unfortunately, you still have your real job to do, and you have to use a goodly amount of that "free" time to get it done. The emails keep coming, the phone keeps ringing, the fires keep burning, and everyone needs all the same stuff from you that they would need if you were in the office, except that now they REALLY need it yesterday and OMG, the sky is falling!
5. Should you find yourself with a great location, time to enjoy it, people you like, and a job well done, it is possible - LIKELY, even, that you will have too much fun and end up having to pay for it the next day when the sky starts falling again and all of a sudden you have too many things to do, have to talk to eleventy millilon strangers, and stand on your feet in uncomfortable shoes while trying not to think about the number of Irish Car Bombs you had last night that seemed like Such A Good Idea at 1am.

Here are some strategies I've developed for dealing with the truths of conference travel:

1. Research your location. If you're going to Schaumburg, IL (I will be going to Schaumburg, IL), resign yourself to the fact that you are NOT going to Chicago. You will likely not get into Chicago for the entire trip and you need to make peace with the fact before you get on the plane.
2. Look at the conference schedule. Are there breaks during the day or do you have to be on the tradeshow floor from open to close? Are there receptions or dinners that you need to attend? If there are, make peace with the fact that you are there for work, and work is not all about fun. Work is about work. And sometimes fun. But mostly work. And then more work. WITHOUT END.
3. Think about who you're traveling with. The people I'm traveling with absolutely influence the experience I will have. Sometimes I travel and get to go to the gym every day and get lots and lots of sleep. Sometimes, however, I end up staying out late (and having to take responsibility for being the creator of the terrible "travel pub crawl" where we pub crawl in every city, which isn't awful, except when we're in Las Vegas and I wake up with bruises that make me look like someone kicked my ass) and I wake up swearing I will never, ever pub crawl again. Until I do. The next time. Irish Car Bombs are so often a good idea that goes terribly, terribly wrong.
4. Remember that you are working and that you have a job to do first and foremost. Also, remember that you are a 37 year old growed-ass woman who rarely stays up later than 10pm when you're at home, and educate people that when you say that you're going to turn into a pumpkin at midnight, you probably mean it. (I mean it. There's no stopping the Elisa Pumpkin Train when it gets going.)
5. Be grateful that you have a job that allows you to travel, and see interesting places, even if you don't get to experience them, because you are working and are NOT on vacation. I complain about travel at times, but I am glad to be able to do it.

Speaking of conference travel, this post is brought to you courtesty of a wi-fi hotspot at LAX (HATE YOU LA). I'll be home for about 40 hours between this trip to San Diego and next week's trip to Phoenix, LA, and then RHINEBECK!

 

 

National Elisa Thinks She Doesn't Run Day, Except Apparently She Does

Or, isn't it fun to talk about one's self in the third person?

Actually, I find it a little creepy when people talk about themselves in the third person so I will try to never, not ever, not ever never, do that again.

But I probably will.

SO!

I am running a 5k on Thanksgiving morning. No one is more surprised by this than I am (and yes, I do remember hitting the "register" button and yet I'm still surprised). Not only am I running it, but my WHOLE team at work is running it too, and someone keeps telling people about this 5k and suggesting that these people might also want to run it, and these other people keep saying "Hey - that sounds like a great idea, how do I sign up?" and OH MY GOD it is ME that keeps telling people to run with us, because apparently I need the spectre of public humiliation to complete a health and fitness goal.

Honestly, though, I had this realization recently that to really live a fit and healthy life, I can't relegate exercise to a single 35 minute session per day, even if that session happens six times a week. To be healthy and fit, I have to live an active life, and to me it seems that I need to do that in addition to workouts that require special equipment or gyms. I need to be more active - walking the dogs, working in the yard, going for hikes (except - no hills - hills displease me mightily) - just generally using my body MORE and my remote control less.

Also, I have believed for pretty much my whole life that I. Can't. Run. And then realizing that just the idea that I couldn't run has kept me from running really pissed me off, and so - POW - I'm running a 5k.

(Are you also starting to think that this is sounding like a Flogic post? I am. Oh boy.)

I'm sneaking up on this whole running thing by doing the Couch to 5k program, and here's the really fun thing - I'm doing it with my herd of little dogs. Yep - imagine - Concateknit who really has no idea how to run, interval training with three little dogs. The fact that the little dogs don't really have to run in order to keep up with me? Well, we're not worrying about those kinds of details right now. We're also not worrying about how I look running with three little dogs (who can keep pace w/out running) while carrying bright purple "LOOK I AM A RESPONSIBLE PET OWNER I HAVE PICKED UP THEIR POOP FROM YOUR LAWN" bags in my leash-carrying hand.

A minor aside: One awesome thing about interval training with a herd of little dogs (at least, with MY herd of little dogs) is that my little Miss Rosie girl greets every morning  now with three (little dog) big barks, and then immediately starts to run. She's at least 9 in dog years, people, and totally kicks Zorro and Dezi's butts at the whole running thing. I start off every run with a big laugh at her silly exuberance.

But! Also! So! Later this week I will get to do my whole "kind of running, but more like jogging, okay, let's be honest, it's really more like a quick weird shuffle-step" thing in San Diego on the water and I am totally looking forward to making myself look like an ass, which y'know, is a good thing, because I do that whole "look like an ass" thing on a pretty reliably regular basis.

I don't run, but I guess I do. Or something. #POW.

 

It's Possible That I am Insane

 
I've drunk the Kool-Aid.

I started eating Paleo a month ago, and tomorrow I'm planning to start this.

Probably it's not just possible that I'm insane, probably it's just the truth.

What I can say after a month of eating Paleo is that I sleep better, I have more energy, a more positive attitude, I've lost weight, and I am eating So. Many Veggies. I'm also eating so much more meat than I have in the past 20+ years, but I've stuck with primarily lean cuts and I've actually learned how to make a pretty mean pulled pork. So, whether the diet itself is a fad, I think that in general I've gained some good tips on eating more balanced meals, and so even if I'm crazy, I'm a happier crazy, and being a HAPPY KIND OF CRAZY is my goal for my 37th year.

Goofy girl says "hi!"

 

Dudes.

Your mojo is powerful.

We're outta here on July 14th.

California here we come!

Dudes.